Interview: Of values and water

Roger Tan

The Sunday Star
by Christina Chin
Photo by Abdul Rahman Embong

AFTER eight years of helping to implement and enforce the country’s water supply and sewerage services laws, Datuk Roger Tan served his last day as commissioner of the Water Services Commission (SPAN) on May 31. Tan, a lawyer by trade, was instrumental in putting in place a disciplinary mechanism based on values he lives by – accountability, transparency and integrity.

Former fellow commissioner Datuk Zulkifly Rafique has this to say of Tan’s tenure: “He has discharged his responsibility admirably and is a pillar of strength for the staff and fellow commissioners who looked to him for support and guidance at a very challenging time. A job well done.”

Tan, from Yong Peng, Johor, graduated from the school of hard knocks and he never forgot his roots. 

Describing himself as a “simple man”, he’s pleased that his wife and children are equally grounded. Opening up about his family, Tan says those who rose from poverty, surviving only because of their parents’ resilience and sacrificial love, have no reason to lead an ostentatious life.

An illiterate labourer, his father, Sue Yong, toiled to put food – often porridge with soy sauce or a few slices of preserved bean curd – on the table.

The desire to honour his parents, family and God, is what drives Tan to excel.

An avid photographer, he shares how an image of the All Souls Church in Langham Place, London – with a cross of clouds forming just above the place he used to worship at as a student, is his favourite work. The best photographs are often accidental masterpieces, he muses.

Mourning a great leader

The Sunday Star

Legally Speaking by Roger Tan 

IN MEMORY: Sunday Star columnist Roger Tan paying tribute to the late Singapore founding father Lee Kuan Yew in the condolence book at the Singapore High Commission in Kuala Lumpur.

Spontaneous and emotional outpouring of grief by Singaporeans is indeed a testament to Lee Kuan Yew’s extraordinary achievement in creating a united nation out of a divided, polyglot, multi-racial and multi-religious population.

THE fact that today our Yang di-Pertuan Agong will represent Malaysia at Lee Kuan Yew’s funeral – an epochal event in the history of Singapore – speaks volumes of the island’s founding father as the greatest statesman in South-East Asia. 

In fact, President Richard Nixon held him up as a leader of similar stature as Winston Churchill. Most importantly, Lee was also instrumental in the formation of Malaysia and hence he and a generation of Singaporeans were once, albeit briefly, Malaysians between 1963 and 1965. 

Born on Sept 16, 1923, Lee read law at Cambridge University and obtained a starred double first and started practising as a lawyer in 1950 for almost a decade. As a legal assistant, he took up cases for trade unions, often on a pro bono basis. This undoubtedly helped him later to generate mass support for him when he became prime minister in 1959. 

Almost half a million Singaporeans have already turned up at Parliament House and the 18 community tribute sites to pay their last respects to the nonagenarian. Thousands more did not mind queuing for up to 10 hours the night before in order to reach the Parliament House where the body is lying in state. 

This spontaneous and emotional outpouring of grief by Singaporeans is indeed a testament to Lee’s extraordinary achievement in creating a united nation out of a divided, polyglot, multi-racial and multi-religious population. It is ironic that someone who had believed in Machiavelli, making him the most feared person in Singapore, is now someone who is most loved by his people. It is understandable that Singaporeans’ biggest regret is that their founding father would not be there on Aug 9 for their 50th national day celebrations. 

Lee was indeed a great leader in every sense of the word. He was humble enough to say sorry if he was wrong and if it was in the best interest of his county to do so. Hence, he had apologised to Malaysia a few times for some of his acerbic comments. 

He was also a first-class diplomat whose advice was often sought by leaders of superpowers even though he was just the head of “a little red dot” on the world map. 

Time to prosecute negligent parents

Responsible parenting: 
Hold on to your children to keep them safe.

The Sunday Star

by Roger Tan

It is incomprehensible why some parents and guardians continue to fail or refuse to appreciate the severity of their actions by causing children to eventually become victims of neglect.

LIKE many Malaysians, I was heartbroken to learn that the decomposed body found near the Kampung Sungai Sireh jetty in Port Klang on Jan 24 was that of the missing six-year-old William Yau Zhen Zhong.

William will now join the list of highly publicised cases of missing children who were either found dead subsequently or are still missing such as Ang May Hong (1987), Chai Sieu Chi (1995), Tin Song Sheng (1996), Nushuhada Burak (2000), S. Maniarasi (2001), Nurul Huda Abdul Ghani (2004), Haserawati Saridi (2004), Nurin Jazlin Jazimin (2007), Sharlinie Mohd Nasha (2008), Mohd Asmawi Jalaludin (2008), Harirawati Saridi (2009), Nisha Chandramohan (2010), Nurul Nadirah Abdullah (2012) and Satishkumar Tamilvanan (2012).

Personally, I can commiserate with William’s parents over their loss. In my case, my beloved father Tan Sue Yong, who disappeared in 2000, is still missing. The sorrow, grief and agony experienced by those who are left behind are simply indescribable.

It is sad really that despite our nation’s conscience being shaken each time a high profile case like William’s is highlighted, we continue to have reports of missing children.

According to the official portal of the Royal Malaysia Police (www.rmp.gov.my), 4,804 persons were reported missing between January and October last year. Of these, 2,332 have been found, but 2,472 persons are still missing. Of the 2,472 missing persons, 1,177 of them are children, that is, those aged below 18, and 896 of them are girls. This statistic is indeed alarming as it means an average of 16 people are reported missing daily nationwide!

Hence, if we, as a society, are to be judged by how we protect our children who form the most vulnerable component of it, then we may have failed miserably. This begs the question whether the majority of these cases could have been avoided if the person having care of the child had exercised due supervision and diligence.

Up close and personal with Roger Tan

The Star
by Wong Wei-Shen 

Lawyer and SPAN commissioner gets...

ROGER Tan has come a long way since his small town boy days in Yong Peng, Johor. From living in poverty as a young lad to becoming a successful lawyer in Malaysia, it is not hard to see that Tan values hard work, discipline and determination. These values are what have made him the man he is today.

Despite having achieved a lot in his life so far, it is evident that Tan harbours a lot of pain and anguish. On May 23, 2000, his father, Tan Sue Yong, the person who inspired Tan to become the man he is today, went missing after a walk about in Yong Peng town. His anguish lingers as 11 years later, his father has still not been found.

Tan is emotional when speaking to StarBizWeek about his father. “11 years have passed. Actually I've done all I can but we still can't locate him. I've gone on national television and used the press in every form. This is one area I feel that I've failed him.” Tan's wish is to get closure on his father's disappearance. “Even if we can't find him alive, the least that we want is to find his body and give him a decent burial,” he said.

Personal mentor

It is obvious from the way that Tan speaks of his father, that he looks up to his father, just as every little boy does to his own dad: with a sense of admiration and awe. His father comes from the rich Zheng family in Fuzhou, China. Due to the onset of communism, Sue Yong and his wife Swee Mei left China and came to Malaysia.

Instil filial piety in young ones

New Sunday Times

by Roger Tan

IT is indeed a blessing that I was able to celebrate Mothers Day with my 83-year-old mother and 89-year-old mother-in-law last Sunday.

The picture shows both the octogenarians beaming with joy as their children, grandchildren and great grandchildren went home to Yong Peng to celebrate the occasion with them.

For my mum, life was especially hard when she first came over with dad to Malaya in March 1947. Living in extreme poverty then, her pregnancies were often fraught with problems.

She suffered three miscarriages, and two boys died one week after their births. Another girl had to be given up for adoption by the Christian missionaries at the Seremban Convent High School in 1957, whose records showed had died of pneumonia three months later.

In China in 1943, her first child, a girl, was born when mum was a weak and frail 19-year-old herself. It was also in that year that our paternal grandmother died in her 40s.

Believing that the newly born girl had brought bad luck to the family, our superstitious maternal grandmother decided to let her die in the cold outside.

Despite all these tragedies, mum is no doubt a woman of great fortitude. While dad toiled as a farmer and labourer and was often away from home, my mum performed her duties as a mother looking after us at home.

My mother-in-law is also very much an indomitable character in her own right. Hailing from China in 1932, she did not stop tapping rubber trees to support the family until she was 65.

As my father-in-law (who passed away in 1980) had asthma and was unable to work, one cannot imagine how she could have brought up a family of nine girls and three boys, including a fine daughter for me to marry.

Today, she has 37 grandchildren and 14 great grandchildren. She would often testify that she derives her strength from her strong faith in God, which she no doubt does as she still reads the Bible every day.

I am sure many others have similar if not more powerful stories to tell about their mothers. Likewise, there are many mothers out there whose children were not able to celebrate the occasion with them as depicted by the powerful Chinese New Year advertisement of Petronas in February this year.

Indeed, how we treat our parents will indirectly teach our children how they treat us later. It is often said that filial piety is becoming a thing of the past.

Surely, if our children are taught the importance of filial piety when they are young, then their children will also love them in return when they grow old.

To the Chinese community, filial piety or xiao means complete obedience to one’s parents or parents-in-law, and nothing can be more important than looking after your own parents when they are old.

So, a tale is often told that once upon a time in China, there lived a very poor family. They had a young son but the man’s mother would always give a part of her share to her grandson so that the young boy would not starve. Fearing that his mother would starve instead, the man decided to bury his son alive. But when he dug a hole, lo and behold, he discovered a pot filled with gold.

Filial piety is a universal value fundamental to the family institution.

For example, my Muslim friends are often reminded of Surah Luqman (31) verse 14 in the Quran: "And We have enjoined on man to be good to his parents: In travail upon travail did his mother bear him, And in years twain was his weaning: (Hear The Command), Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents; To Me is thy final Goal."

Our Christian friends, on the other hand, are often told that it is one of the Ten Commandments to honour our father and mother so that we may live long.

Our parents cannot just wither away in loneliness or be treated like "excess baggage" when they grow old.

It follows that our young ones should be taught, trained and imbued with filial piety as early as possible. Our primary school education system must prioritise this.

In fact, the New Sunday Times reported on April 22 that Jerai Member of Parliament Datuk Paduka Badruddin Amiruldin had urged parliament to enact a law to punish errant children who abandoned their parents.

The report also quoted the president of the National Council of Senior Citizens’ Organisations Malaysia, Lum Kin Tuck, responding that the proposed law was unnecessary and, if introduced, "can be a disgrace to us".

Of course, it was not too nice either to read the New Straits Times on March 12 that one requires between RM1.4 million and RM2.8 million in order to retire comfortably.

In Singapore, the Maintenance of Parents Act 1995 allows any person who is 60 years old or above and who is unable to maintain himself to apply to the Tribunal for the Maintenance of Parents for an order that one or more of his children pay him a monthly allowance or any other periodical payment or a lump sum for his maintenance.

In India, the Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Bill 2006 was tabled to ensure that if a person responsible for the upkeep of his parents failed to take care of them, he can face up to three months’ imprisonment and a fine in addition to being disinherited from the parent’s will.

To my mind, maintaining our parents is a family responsibility and not the state’s. If the state has to come in to compel our children to maintain us like what is being done in Singapore or India, then something is very wrong with our society.

As a parent, to know that my children are maintaining me because of a court order only grieves me further to realise that this is retribution for I have failed as a parent all these years.

It is also a damning indictment of poor parenting on our part which we, as parents, must assume full responsibility.

In conclusion, let me share with you this oft-quoted inspirational lesson written by an unknown author: A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law and four-year-old grandson.

The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table.

But the elderly grandfather’s shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.

"We must do something about grandfather," said the son. "I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating and food on the floor."

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner.

Since grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. When the family glanced in grandfather’s direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence. One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor.

He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up."

The four-year-old smiled and went back to work. The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening, the husband took grandfather’s hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days, he ate every meal with the family.

And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled or the tablecloth soiled. Children are remarkably perceptive.

*The writer still grieves for his missing father: www.missingourdad.com

Tell your dad 'I love you' now before it's too late for that

Tan Sue Yong (missing since 23 May 2000)

TODAY is Father’s Day. May I wish all fathers a Happy Father’s Day.

Let me tell you a story about a great dad. Applying our societal standards, he was a nobody. He possessed neither wealth nor fame. But to his children, he was the greatest gift from God.

Sue Yong was born on Sept 24, 1917 to a huge and wealthy Zheng family in the province of Fuzhou, China. Sue Yong’s grandfather, Zheng Peng Hui was a renowned and wealthy physician sharing the lineage of the famous Chinese poet in the Qing Dynasty, Zheng Ban Qiao.

They lived in a huge mansion and were served by many servants. He was the 19th generation of the Zheng family.

In 1947, with the prospect of the communists taking control of China, Sue Yong and his young wife Swee Mei decided to leave China. The Zheng’s family assets were later sequestrated by the communists when they came to power on Oct 1, 1949.

Upon arrival, the young childless couple decided to settle down in Sepang, Selangor. There, they laboured as pig-farmers.

Living under poor and malnourished circumstances, Swee Mei’s pregnancies were often fraught with problems. She suffered several miscarriages and three sons died a few days after their births.

For Sue Yong, the life of luxury of his China days had also come to an end. There was no way he would return to China. Malaya was his new home.

In Sepang, they lived in poverty and under constant fear of the communist insurgents Malaya was fighting at that time. As the pig farm was located far away from home, their livelihood was severely affected by the many curfews imposed by the security forces.

In 1958, they decided to move down to Yong Peng. By this time, he had to work even harder to feed his five young children. Lunch and dinner were often porridge with soya sauce or a few slices of preserved bean curds.

In Yong Peng, Sue Yong toiled as a labourer for landowners who required him to clear their smallholdings of weeds and lallang or make drains along the perimeter of the land. He did all these by using his cangkul, and for a meagre wage of six ringgit a day.

Apart from having to work under the hot sun with his bare hands, such job offers were not regular. So, the household income was partly supplemented by his two elder daughters who gave up school to work as rubber tappers at the tender age of 10, each earning about two ringgit a day.

Their quality of life only started to improve from the mid-1970s when Sue Yong started to get tree-felling contracts. But this job required him to live in jungles for one or two months, felling trees and clearing secondary jungle with his chain saw.

Beloved Dad and Mum

It was an extremely dangerous job. So, whenever the taxi pulled up in front of the house with his tools, it meant Sue Yong had come home safely.

But when he had to leave again for new assignments, his family would worry for his safety again.

Often, Sue Yong had to dye his grey hair whenever he went around trying to secure contracts, fearing that prospective employers would find him too old to take up the job. He did not retire until he was 71, and that was also upon his children’s insistence.

For him, education for his children was the best investment. Despite advice from relatives that he should get his children to stop studying and start tapping rubber or helping him out with his contract work, Sue Yong was adamant that he would do everything for his children so that they would not be deprived of education and end up to be like him.

This is one fine example of what Ruth E. Renkel said: "Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance."

He was also a loyal Malaysian as he would often say Malaysia was his home and would be his final resting place.

Since he came over here in 1947, he only went back to China once in 1983. That trip meant a lot to him because he had always wanted to make this "pilgrimage" to fulfil his wish and duty of paying his belated respects to his departed parents.

A duty no doubt he fulfilled with admiration by collecting the relics of his late parents and having them buried with a beautiful tomb erected in their memory.

But alas, just as he was able to enjoy the fruits of his labour in his twilight years, Sue Yong went missing on May 23, 2000 after taking an evening walk. He was 83. It was devastating for me. Tan Sue Yong is my father.

When I received a call from my mother on that fateful evening, I immediately rushed back. With the help of local Rela members, we mounted a search around Yong Peng town but could not find him.

For the next few days, the police field force and dog units joined the search. After one whole week of looking out for him in Yong Peng without any success, the reality of never seeing my dad again began to sink in.

I remember hugging my wife and crying together as we agonised over our missing dad. We could not understand why someone who had given so much to us, would have his life end in this manner.

When news came that dad was spotted taking a bus in Air Hitam, Johor, I knew he was now on the move, and no longer in Yong Peng. So, I had to abandon the search in Yong Peng and return to work.

That evening, when driving my family home, tears just flowed down as I felt so helpless at that time. I felt as if I had failed him for not being able to find him. I felt as if I had not done enough despite all the time, money, resources spent and help from so many kind people.

So, on Father’s Day 2000, which also fell on June 18, I took out advertisements in national newspapers seeking help in locating him, but to no avail.

Six years have passed. By the seventh year, the law will presume he is dead if he is still missing. But hope is what I will not give up and will continue to pray that God will help us find him — whether dead or alive.

Until then, it is difficult to have any closure on our part. The tomb that he himself designed and which was built some 20 years ago is still empty.

Our tears still flow whenever we look at his photo or dream of him. We have dreamt of him many times hoping that he would reveal to us his whereabouts, but we would wake up each time just as he was about to tell us where he was.

Dear Malaysians, though we are not rich, our lives have been enriched by him. Our dad taught us honesty, hard work and filial piety.

Always more concerned about providing for his family, he did not drink, smoke or gamble, let alone indulge in unfruitful activities. He even helped around with household chores.

Many a time, the mere thought of what our dad went through to bring us up would always provide us the much-needed jolt to remind us how blessed we are because of him.

On this special day, I pay tribute to this great man in my life. We are not who we are today if not for our beloved dad. The toil and sweat he had put in would not be in vain.

Because of him, all his grandchildren are now able to receive tertiary education. We are a family brought up by a man deprived of everything but who gave his all to us. He will remain in our hearts forever.

So Malaysians, I have no doubt this evening many of you will take your dad out for dinner. But except for this special day, when was the last time we took our dad out for a meal or sat down to have a good chat with him?

And when was the last time we gave him a pat or a hug or said, "I love you"?

In fact, just a week ago, our Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, when launching the Royal Malaysia Police Family Day, advised us to value our family members while they are still alive and shower them with love so that there will be no sense of guilt later.

I could not agree more with our Prime Minister, and I leave you to read Robert Paul Moreno’s The Time is Now:

If you are ever going to love me
Love me now while I can know
All the sweet and tender feelings
From which the true affection flows

Love me now while I am living
Do not wait until I am gone
And then have it chiselled in marble
Sweet words on ice-cold stone

If you have tender thoughts of me
Why not whisper them to me?
Don’t you know it would make me happy?
And as glad as can be

If you wait until I’m sleeping
Never to waken here again
There will be walls of earth between us
And I won’t hear you then

I won’t need your kind words
When the grass grows over my face
I won’t crave your love and kisses
In my last low resting place

So if you love me, even a little bit
Let me know while I’m living
So that I can treasure it

The writer is a lawyer. Please visit www.missingourdad.com for more information about his missing father.